Friday, June 6, 2003
Goldberry took care of me for a little while. Then my mom paged me and I had to go do the spooky video tape thing for some fucks that hit on Galesbian and Finny. I asked if it was Celeborn the Third again. He's a scary man.
When I'm not killing people for my mother, I head over to Rivendell and haunt Los Dos Rondos with Bria. Actually, she haunts, I harass. They were irritated by my presence at first then they wanted me to act out the tv-crawl. They gave me a cardboard box with a hole in it and over and over again I had to crawl out of the fucking box while they munched on Cheetos.
They are demanding fuckers. And extremely easily amused/entertained.
I'm going to eat II's firstborn and steal the placenta for Cookie Baking Galadriel :)
Monday, May 19, 2003
The Elronds are no fun to play with. Elrond II, the one with the Sir Mix Alot type ass, has taken to ignoring me. Little does he know I've been playing with his food since my mental images don't cut it anymore. (Which I'm working on, I'll find something to disturb you bastards...maybe polaroids of Elrohir and Faxy, hmmm?)
Anyway, I was inspired by a Malcolm In The Middle episode. If he begins to gain wait, that's his problem. I suspect he feeds scraps to Elrohir though, so, uh, sucks for him too.
My mommy has been doing lesbian things with Finduilas and Galesbian. It's disturbing, no one bothers to soundproff shit around here. I was sent to Isildur's Secret to pick up a few things. A few people looked at me weird, I killed them. Haha, still got the old touch. Oh yeah.
I met Zak the other day. She's cool, she stabs losers in the leg :D We ate Blues Clues spaghettios together. My Mommy even made a spell on the noddles so we could eat that annoying fuck Steve and his irritating childbitch that hosts the show now. She let me come over her house which is neat. It smells like vodka, strawberries, cigarettes and Lysol and everything is really, really clean. There's a dart board with a bunch of Galadrieli on it. I could tell it was Galadrieli because they all had blonde hair (with a red and black haired exception). That pissed me off so I set one of their goblins on fire. Their twitwad son laughed and I set him on fire. His sister played with my hair. Zak beat her up after awhile and we played videogames.
Her Mommy came in the room and started screaming hysterically at the sight of me then went and got Zak's Daddy. He just looked at me, then at Zak, then left and made a couple of shots for him and Zak's Mommy.
Anyway, I'm home now. Mommy, Galesbian, and Finduilas went to some S&M lesbo bar and I'm all alone. I'm bored. I demand someone read me a story.
Friday, May 9, 2003
I'm cold, I'm wet and I smell like Rohirrim.
Someone feed me before I make you all dream evil things tonight. >:(